FILLURS COURT OF PUMPJACK JUSTICE: written and performed by Fillur
On our maiden rampage in Dametrius' galleon tonight we met our fair share of white knights. One was Kev. We harassed him and his guild enough that he spent a good amount of time attacking us, amassing quite a few bloodstains on the water (bloodstains are used to report assault/murder against your own faction). In between running plundered packs to our holds I took the time to report his stains. I made sure to leave descriptions on my reports such as "I saw him murdering children" to ensure the jury would drop the hammer on him. Well, as fate would have it...I ended up on that jury. This is that story:
For added effect, listen to the below youtube clipping while reading through this epic story
The courtroom + the jury appalled at his reported crimes against children:
We just spent the night plundering the high seas & the booties of all seamen who came within our draw distance. It was amazing. I think we walked away with a net ~15-20 trade packs. The entire night was hilarious, made 10x more so by Indecent implementing our new pumpjack crest flying high on our sails:
Pumpjack crew rules:
-All ships & sailors encountered must be subjected to thorough package inspections
The majority of our victims were filthy furries trying to turn in cookies for their scarecrow quest, but we had our fair share of true pirating on our own faction:
Over the course of the night we met Raspir, who became our newest and most promising recruit. He has an insatiable bloodthirst and once drowned himself in his lust for tradepacks.
Random extra: We found this guy on a dock AFK, he had the "wanted" debuff (>50 crime points) so we took it upon ourselves to enforce a little pumpjack justice. We pushed him onto our boat and sailed out to neutral waters to murder him, where he was immediately zoned out to trial:
At then end of our third night of attempts, bisected by a lot of Phage maw that I think we can all officially agree never happened, Conviction brought down the Phagetech Prototypes.
In related news, Spicy has passed on his title to me and henceforth I shall be know as Glaucs, King of Bores. Spicy insisted that I should check the red Xs for buried treasure, but after checking 241 of them, I think he may have lied. He has such an honest tone of voice in TS that I just couldn't help but trust him. Perhaps he was a lawyer or used car salesman in a past life; it would explain some things.
Congrats on Lewtz to Tocsin, Calheals and Firehawk! Onwards to Phageborn Convergence.